Hello my love - the first month

To tell you the truth I don't know I'd be pregnant with you. Yes my menses was whacked up, I wouldn't be having my monthlies once I'm stressed; and that's a norm. So to fall down at work one day and to find out that I'm 32-34 weeks into carrying you was not only scary, it was surreal. 

All these while I was known to be sterile. My estrogen level was low and your baba and I had plans to adopt after marriage. But god is great in giving us you my love. We were so shocked and blessed to find out we will be having a girl. 

We went to kkh to confirm everything on the 18th of June 2014. That was the first time I heard your heart beat baby. I didn't have a pregnant tummy that's why no one could detect you earlier. But baby your heart beat was beautiful. Baba couldn't hear it cos he was outside but me being in that holding room listening to you for the first time, it was beautiful. We went for your sonogram next. It was the first time we found out you'd be a girl. Baba cried baby. He had always wanted a girl. The doctor told us you'd be due on the first few days of hari raya. But baby you had other plans.

4 days after that, I began spotting. I panicked. I googled everything about being in 32 weeks and spotting and conclude it must be uti. But the pain was unbearable. I went to kkh instead. Baby you wanted to come out now! Baba saw you coming into this world sayang. He saw the whole thing. And we love you so much. 

From then till now you've reached your first month baby. I've held you for a full month. When you smile you melt everyone's hearts. When you cry everybody wants to coo you to sleep. Baba and mummy loves you tau sayang. Here's pictures of your first month baby.

Your first day in the premmie ward baby. I can't hold you yet but you're so beautiful.

On my second day! Yay mummy held you!

See sayang.. Mami nana and mami Farrah gave you balloons!

Our first family photo baby. See those wires? You still need them so the doctors can check your hourly stats.

On our 3rd night doctors gave us the chance to sleep together! You were looking at the balloons. You can't see fully yet but you can sense blobs of colors.

See baby you were so small even the hospital nightie couldn't fit you. 

We can discharge today! See your baba? He was up the past few days cleaning the house so that you could enter properly.

You would at times smile in your sleep baby. I love catching you do that.

You were always so strong baby. You can pull your hand up from the swaddle.

And you had that same pose baby!

See how much you grown baby! I love you! Happy one month my love. Sure we're not a conventional family nucleus but mummy and baba will always love you, Inka.